Is there a point to Sunday? I mean other then it being a day off for some people and a good excuse for an afternoon nap if your over the age of 5, I think Sunday was invented to make people feel guilty and uncomfortable.
Growing up Sunday was always go to church, having dinner with the family and going to see grandma and grandpa. We would run around my grandparents property, getting in the barn and playing in the trees with all of my cousins. As I got older Sunday was HAVE to go to church and pretend you are spiritual, or righteous or whatever. I just settled for pretending I was not going to burn in hell.
I am now well over 20 something and have at times liked church, even really enjoyed and felt strongly about the lessons taught there. But I have never really felt that I belong. Not that the people are not nice, or I have been gossiped about or anything. I just have always felt like I am going through the motions. I will never be the person I am suppose to be.
AND WHO THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO BE? I'm I the good little girl that shows up every week for church, reads her scriptures, prays, gives to charity, and takes food to the homeless? Am I the person who really would like to sit around drinking and smoking and getting high? Can I just be a mom who most of the time loves her kids and would like to hide in the shadows?! Is it even possible to be a little of all of them?
This is way I hate Sundays. It makes me wonder who I am and I don't like that. It is much safer to just not care, no guilt in not caring! But then I feel guilty about my children. Should I be insisting they go? It would be good for them. Am I insuring that they are going to hell by not making them go, or (for now) caring if they go? I tell myself I should go, and set a "good example" for them. Then I am pissed all day because I don't want to go. And more often then not I have taken several pills and am high when I get there just so I don't go crazy while I am there. Or, I get drunk when it is over. SO. I ask again.
WHY WAS SUNDAY INVENTED?
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